Sorry for the Delay

Sorry for the lack of updates over the past week. Just got married yesterday and the days leading up to it were pretty frantic. Happy to say that my beautiful bride said 'YES' and that all is well. I'll get another update done soon before we embark on our European tour this Thursday!

Laugh Before Bed

Still awake? Here's the first of what I hope to give you weekly...this week some classic MAD TV.

The Trouble with Fonts

Before the advent of the printing press, the vast majority of the written word was passed on in books skillfully written by the hands of monks working in the many abbeys across Europe. These men did not have the happiest of lives, forced to live in poverty and chastity. They were not allowed to own robes of different colours, had to pray twelve times a day, and as a final insult, had to walk around with funny looking haircuts that villagers and serfs made fun of whenever they went into town to see the latest hanging or witch-burning.

So, you can imagine the rage and anger that one of these devout men of God would have had if after weeks of painstakingly writing a thousand page Latin text by hand, their abbot were to come waltzing in and say, "Brother Giovanni, you wrote this text in Lucida Grande, I explicitly said VERDANA!!"

When I first started using a computer for word processing, I used a computer with a green and black monitor - different font options were certain to be a thing of the distant future. Yet, less than two decades since we made contact with fellow humans over the Internet, my new version of Microsoft Word has over 1600 different font options that I can use to make my documents look pretty. Well, actually it's a bit less than 1600, but I usually stop at Arial because I get bored looking further down the list. I like my documents to look as sharp, polished, and professional as the next guy, but is this really necessary. Lately, it's been taking me more time to figure out what font selection to use than to type up my document in the first place....and trust me, at this point in my life...anything that confuses my 35 year old brain is an abomination, a scourge that must be destroyed whatever the cost.

Let's put this in perspective for a minute - not only do I need to choose fonts for my Word documents, I have to choose them for my blog, for Windows, for my Playstation 3, for my DVD player, even for my stupid cell phone. The time that I have spent selecting them is time I'll never get back! Sure, my text messages are easier to read, and my PS3 does look kinda cool, but by the time I get things where I want them, Microsoft will just roll out a new version of their software, my cell phone will get flushed down the toilet, and my PS3? Well, nothing will come between me and my PS3...heh heh. Heh heh...err...what was I saying?

I still this is an issue that begs to be discussed further, but in the interim, please gaze at the Playstation 3.

Shameless Plug

Just before we get to my next important rambling on topics that concern each and every one of you, I've decided to add a shameless plug for my little brother's blog, A Quiet Corner of Sanity. When I first saw it, I was shocked he could write, even more shocked that it was in English, but mostly shocked that he actually has a pretty sharp take on politics and current events. I mean, look at him! Granted that picture was taken at age 2, but he hasn't changed that much...just more hair. He even has some video clips posted that will make you laugh out loud. So, if you're anxiously awaiting my next musing, don't fret - no need to suffer withdrawal, just change the channel for a wee bit and get a good laugh on his blog. You have no idea how excited he gets when he sees more hits on his Site Meter. Plus, it keeps away from the TV when I want to watch my shows. Thanks.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood!

May 17, 2008 - yeah, you see it. I see it. Are you laughing? I'm not laughing.

Well, actually I am...because this was actually taken a few years ago after the worst snowstorm ever seen in Halifax. I still thought it was a fitting addition to my blog considering that it supports one basic argument - that the weather on the East Coast of Canada is rotten.

Today, just one week before I get married to my beautiful bride, we're getting a dose of a typical Maritime spring...non stop rain, fog and drizzle. Both my fiancee and I are hoping that come next week, the mildew won't show up in our wedding photos. At any rate, we'll be leaving on our honeymoon on May 29th, after which there will be a two week hiatus of blog updates. We're going on a European vacation...Paris....Rome... and Madrid, after which point, there will be an avalanche of posts on how much Europe is than North America.
I'll be back later today with an opinion of substance...perhaps on why I prefer waffles to pancakes, or a deep discussion on why Darth Maul isn't really dead and is in fact, Luke's real father. Until then, for those of you living south of say...the Canadian border...feast your eyes on the hell that we Canucks live in.

Can't you see the resemblence?

I thought this was a particularly nice photograph of Mr. Maul.

The End is Near...what the hell?

You know, when I hear people talking about the end being near, I get suspicious. Damn suspicious. Do they mean the end is near for them? Or are they trying to convince me that my number's up? The naysayers want to spoil everything for everyone else... and dammit, I'm not going to take it anymore!

For almost a year, anyone who's tuned into any of the financial news networks has been bombarded with enough doom and gloom to make the Grim Reaper blush. Yes, the evil credit crunch is on the verge of turning Canada and our southern neighbour into Third World countries with nice ski resorts and better late night TV. In the financial services business that I'm in, I've listened to client after client complaining about the massive losses their investments have taken and I've watched wide-eyed new anchors say the word recession in such dramatic fashion, you'd think they just marched down Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments.

Well, crunch this.

The Toronto Stock Exchange closed today at a new record high of 14984.20 and if oil and mining stocks continue in the direction they're going, we're going to see new record highs next week too. The polar ice cap might be crumbling, but the economy isn't. Even the Dow Jones is bouncing back after a rough fall and winter...but people, this isn't the news story of the millenium. Check out an Andex chart and you'll see that on average, we get hit by a recession at least once a decade...and over the past 50 years, we've seen dozens of major world events that will give your investment portfolio a good body shot, but like any good boxer, it will weather the storm, keep punching, and eventually do just fine...and it won't even look like Rocky Balboa after fifteen rounds!

It's true that what's happening in the American economy is not good, but the powers that be have a good habit of learning from their mistakes and not repeating those particular ones. They'll just find new, fun and wacky ones to create yet another crisis. The best possible thing to come out of this one is that if you've been wondering how your greasy, unemployed neighbour just bought the $300,000 house next door to you...rest assured that in another year or two, his ilk will be lucky to find a flea infested apartment to rent. And buy bank shares. They started this mess, their shares values dropped as a result, but happy cigar-smoking times are just on the horizon...once this recession comes and goes.

As a financial advisor, I hate seeing people make rash decisions that put them in a worse position or cause them to lose their hard earned dollars. So, my recommendation remains the same - stay invested, invest regularly, and if you're young...start early. That yacht that's waiting for you in the Caymans will thank you for it. Just don't forget your sunscreen.

When 35 years old is old

I used to think that being 35 years old wasn't so bad. That was until an hour ago when my little brother decided to teach me everything I needed to know to make my blog more popular and accessible to the masses. I'm about to go to bed now...with a headache...heartburn...and certain to have nightmares about Feedburner, Autopinger, and Technorati. I have no idea what he did or what any of those websites mean....but he claims you'll read what I have to say.

I don't believe him.

In fact, he's probably linked this blog to some sort of practical joke website.

I wish I was an only child.

Bush opens his mouth...again

The countdown has been on for...nearly eight years? Well, that's not completely fair. In all honesty, G.W. Bush spent the early months of his Presidency on vacation...and the world's worst terrorist attack occurred early on his watch. So, even if the countdown to the end of the United States' worst presidency began seven years ago, the good news is that the ticker is winding down and we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But instead of riding off in the sunset quietly, el Presidente continues to display his glaring deficiencies in high definition. Today, as widely reported by every media outlet on the planet, Dubya made a very thinly veiled attack against Democratic front-runner Barack Obama, likening his willingness to speak to America's opponents to "appeasing" terrorists and repeating the same mistake Chamberlain made with Adolf Hitler in 1939. The Hitler reference is especially interesting considering he made this statement to the Israeli Knesset on the 60th year marking Israel's independence.

Now...some might say that it was inappropriate to inject partisan politics into a speech made in a foreign country, marking such an historic occasion. Others might say that Obama's stance on dealing with unfriendly nations is just an example of his inexperience on diplomatic etiquette. And those others might be right....

But what is undeniably right is this - how can the single worst "decider" in U.S. history, the man who has made a mockery of his country to the international community, who has inspired a whole new generation of rabid suicide bombers, who sent Iraq and its people back to the stone age based on a lie, who sent Afghanistan and its people even further back to the stone age and forgot about them, and who is singlehandedly responsible for making the world a much less stable place....how can this man have the testicles to give anyone a lesson on how to conduct diplomacy?

Breathe in....breathe out....in....out.... OK, now that my blood pressure has retreated to a less lethal level, I personally think Obama has the right idea. If the West hadn't been willing to negotiate with Soviets, the war against terrorism would never have replace the Cold War. I don't believe a President Obama would talk to terrorists...however, I do think that he would be open to communicating with the leaders of hostile foreign countries, which is a completely different matter. This administration's foreign policy has done nothing but continue to isolate their enemies, embittering their populations, and widening the gap to normalcy. Today's attack was incredible coming from the likes of Bush...and seeing John McCain's immediate favourable reaction is a strong signal that the GOP will continue to feed on fear and ignorance. Guess no one has told them that while it's good to keep your friends close...it's wiser to keep your enemies closer.

Welcome to the One Sided Argument

Thanks for visiting and welcome to the One Sided Argument, your one stop shop for biased opinions, fiery rhetoric, and sometimes humorous ramblings on a variety of topics in the news and sometimes, simply in the news in my own fantasy world.

There are two sides to every argument...the wrong one...and mine. I don't like admitting I'm wrong (just ask my beautiful bride-to-be) but on occasion, I'm forced to eat my words. In fact, I argued for years that blogs are stupid. They're dumb. Only people with no lives have the time to burn on them. And since my brother had one, it meant that he was stupid, dumb, and had no life. Well...here we are and I realized that my little brother is none of the above and actually has won a fan following on his blog, so in no way was I about to be outdone by the kid I used to bodyslam and suplex all over my house in the nineties...when wrestling was cool.

Please enjoy the time you spend here - I hope you agree with me...or else I'll have to hunt you down. Well, no I won't do that...but if you do have to disagree with me, please ensure that your argument is weak and is one that I can easily overcome. I'd appreciate that. Thanks.